Ashley Wednesday

Well today marks Ashley's 19th birthday... She was given to me as this tiny little cotton ball on Ash Wednesday 19 years ago today. I am just thankful that she is here to see it. I took this picture a few days before I moved into my new apartment. She was worried that everything seemed to be moving around her... but she adapted perfectly to her new home. She hasn't really complained at all about it.

I switched her food to something a little more "kidney" friendly since that's whats really wrong right now with her. She has one kidney failed and the other is failing. She also is only really seeing out of one eye. My poor little Ashley-cat... She gets LOTS of love, all the water she wants and food whenever she asks for it. And come the day she suffers, is the day I send her to Cindy, who will be waiting with open arms and lots of love.

Always,

~Sherry

Been a while...

Sorry for the gaps in blogs. Life is keeping me just so busy lately. I moved to New Jersey into an apartment and it's been good so far. I finally have a pretty much working apartment and now I just want to get some pretty things for the walls and such. Other then that I have everything I really need right now.

Ok, so here's my news for right now. Everyone who knows me knows that I have lots of trouble with my neck. Well its getting worse. I'm going to a neurologist next week in the hopes that they can help me. All I have to say is that when something starts to effect your normal everyday life, you have to give it attention. I'm starting to notice more and more things that I have changed to keep myself out of pain. Now its effecting my work, thats really not good.

Melissa is doing great. She talked to me on the phone last night and she speaks so well! She asked when I will see her, and if I am bringing grandma and grandpa with me when I see her. Then tells me she has two grandmas! She learned how to use scissors and chopped off a bunch of her hair... so its rather short. I'll scan a picture and get it up soon of her.

Parents are doing pretty good and Casi and Ashley are alright. Ashley is now officially 19 years old! Now thats an old kitty!! She doesnt see as well as she used to and she has her "senior moments" like this morning where she got ill after eating, but its alright. She is working off of one kidney and that one isnt doing so great. We just keep her happy and comfortable and when the time comes, Cindy will be on the other side greeting her with open arms. Everyone knew Cindy and my love for that cat. Soon she'll have her, but until then, she's going to be here.

I wish I had something witty or philosophical to say here...but I dont right now. The pain in my shoulders is starting to really return hard from the last pain killer I took and I guess that means its time for another one. For now... I guess that's all I have to say.

~Me.

Four and Counting...

Today is Melissa's fourth birthday. I know Cindy is watching her from heaven and smiling upon her as always. I hope Melissa had a very happy birthday and I hope that she gets every wish she asks for.

I love you Melissa Lynn.

~Aunt Sherry

And another year quietly passes by...

This should have been posted on November 13, 2006 but the site was having trouble so I couldn't get it to post. But here it is.. for what its worth....

I feel like I blinked through this year. It's November 13th, 2006. Two years ago today I had my heart ripped into a thousand pieces as my sister was taken from me. I wish I had some amazing words of wisdom... but I don't. I watched "Walk the Line" yesterday. Thats the movie about Johnny Cash. I didn't know that his brother Jack died when Johnny was 12 years old. Through the entire movie its something that was emphasized that he never got over it and it was always just sitting in his mind. I wonder if any siblings out there really do get over it... or are able to not have it dance around the front of their mind as it does to mine. In the movie, Johnny Cash said that people got tired of hearing about it, so he just stopped talking about it. But it never leaves him. I guess the bond between siblings is something greater then any sibling gives it credit for.

Someone said to me once "I'd rather die on my feet then live on my knees." That statement is just so true. Cindy would have felt the same way. I know she is somewhere beautiful, where there is no rain, unless you want to hear it, there is no darkness unless you close your eyes, there is no cold unless you wish to see snow, and there is an abundance of love.

I'll see you again someday Cindy... for now know that the hurt I have... I can't help that. I know you do not wish for me to be upset, but instead to smile upon your memory and know that your always right beside me. Well know this; there are some things that get embedded into a person's emotional state. The love of a sibling is one of them. The love of a parent is another..

I guess Johnny Cash is right, you just dont get passed it. You learn your best to live with it. As I try to do every day.

~Sherry