News that is. But I dont have any. I know a lot of people read this journal and rely on me to keep them up to date on what is going on. Well This wont be a sugar coated post so if you do not think you can handle it, now is the time to close the window.
Today wasn't a good day for any of us. Today was my mother's 60th birthday. For any other mother, she might have her husband, and two daughters throwing her a huge birthday party with lots of balloons and candles and smiles. But today wasn't like that at all. Cindy was up all night uncomfortable and didn't get to even sleep today. Her oxygen level kept dropping too low and she was very confused all day long. She would get nose bleeds all day on and off, more on then off though and the blood thinners would make them last for hours.
I gave her a good massage for two hours to try to relax her but it wasn't enough. She has been having constant panic attacks and the doctors tell us unless she can get strong enough for chemotherapy, there is little they can do for her. The Iressa isn't helping. She refuses to eat and I managed to get her to eat a little something today but not nearly enough for a day's nutrition.
I know I should have written this post when my mood wasn't as depressed as it is right now, but I think everyone who is keeping up with this should know how things are. How they are going to be.... and what might be coming down the road ahead of us. I spent the day with my mother and father... and my one sister. I looked at her face today wondering why we never really looked anything alike. But when I spoke, I could hear her.
I think my family needs a miracle...
2 comments:
Sher,
You know already how much you and your family mean to me. So it goes without saying that you are all in my thoughts right now. No words I can say will make you feel any better, or help Cindy recover but you are all in my prayers.
Luv ya babe!
Dave
To Cindy, Sherry, Mom & Dad,
I truly believe we had a miracle today, and for this I am grateful. We spent the whole day together, laughing a bit, crying a lot, but being in the place where we most belong. By Cindy's side and each-others side...holding onto one another for support,but mostly for Cindy, as she always did for us each day of her life. Today was a miracle to hear her whisper to me that she loved me as I needed to tell her again that I loved her always, and to write a note on paper while in and out of sleep. Today will be a forever lasting moment in my life to have had her wake from her peaceful rest to hold me, lean her head on me and hold my hand forever as best friends do...I love you all and am grateful to be a part of this very special day!! Love for ETERNITY CINDY & FAMILY>>>BONNIE
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