Dad!

Today I wantto thank my father... for being this incredible man who I dont think I could have gotten through today without. Sometimes he doesnt know it but he truely is an amazing person and has shown me that there is so much strength in him that we can all draw from.

I thank God for my father and wouldn't trade him for the world. And I'm going to let everyone know that!

G'night all.
Sherry

Your turn to help!

Ok, Sorry it's been a few days but now I'm back and heres the newest! Cindy has finally started to get up and get around. She did a full lap around the hospital floor two days ago and TWO full laps yesterday; one in the morning and a second at night. She's determined and that's GREAT. She's not eating very much but its to be expected and she will once some of the treatments slow down again. So not to worry there. It's very normal. Her appetite isn't really there and when she does eat the radiation makes her get a bit sick.

Ok, heres what I need... SUPPORT! Hey PWG people... She asked about you guys today. She hasn't been able to see the comments you're all leaving here, but I'm going to print them out and bring them with me today. She would love to hear from you guys. She asked why you guys haven't called and I think its partially my fault for not leaving you guys a number to call her on! Well she's good and awake today and usually is in the early part of the day... so get off your duffs and give her a jingle! 212.639.4419 (small edit, this is the right number) is the number. I'm going to print out your comments today and bring them over to her like one big card... But I think a little voice support would be great.

Now... on to some other stuff... There are a couple of people who have this website and I'm sorry to say that if Cindy knew she would be upset about it. People who used to be friends with her and haven't spoken to her in years. I think it would be best that these people didn't leave comments for her. She doesnt know that you guys know what is going on, and I'm sure you want to keep up with the website but I would rather NOT upset her and it would. Again I'm sorry, but I can see where she is coming from after speaking with her about certain matters.

Lastly... She got to see her little girl yesterday since she had enough strength to make it to the lobby downstairs and spent a good two hours with her... so that really gave her a good PUSH in the right direction. Thanks guys.. for all the support, time and prayers, we all love you very much.
~Sherry

DING DING!! And the fight begins!

Well shes back on the radiation and the Iressa... and they removed the drain today from her heart. Shes much more alert and as for more good news she took a LONG walk around today!! She walked like half the floor and then around another area. So thats a great start. Looks like the fight begins! I just called her and her voice sounds stronger and she was just about to get off the bed again!! :)

So my parents had their basement dumped out from the flood and all is nice and cleaned out now and they are on their way back into the city to be with Cindy. I'm in Pennsylvania for the day taking care of a few things and spending a little time at a friend's house as well. But I thought I'd quickly post up the good news that just came across my cell phone. Well I hope everyone is having a good day!!

PS: We are starting a fund for Cindy. if you need our mailing address to donate, email me for information at LadySunshin3@yahoo.com or you can use our paypal account at snapshot@si.rr.com as well. If you use the paypal account, please make sure to include something in the comments so I can tell her who it came from and a little message. Thank you again for all your support during this time and I'll make sure to keep everyone informed.

Just please...

I can only hope that this little girl can make my sister realize how precious life is. How precious her life is and how much she is needed here. She has been having a bad couple of days and I can't imagine what in the world I can do to make her feel any better physically or mentally. I just know this... right now I need everyone to stop for one minute and realize the people around them. How they all effect you and your life. Your family, friends... coworkers. Even your family's friends, who become like family to you after so many years. Cindy makes a big impact to people she meets and knows. When I see her with Melissa its amazing that someone who had such little patience for me has a world of patience for this little baby.

Cindy is scared, angry, hurting and in pain all the time. I wish I could take even a fraction of it away and I cant. There isnt a person right now in this world who can make her feel even slightly better about what is going on. But I pray that she fights this. She's just not trying and I'm scared. I always knew that she was the one better at organizing things, and taking care of situations and giving good ideas. She was always better at taking care of her personal life. I still fear I cant manage on my own!

Could someone please tell me that this will all be ok? That this roller coaster of a nightmare will be slowing down soon and that Cindy will fight this.... I know I said I was keeping this journal so everyone can keep up with her progress but I guess tonight I felt like venting. And for whoever reads this... thanks for "listening".

Appreciate the people around you as well as everything around you. Appreciate every sunrise and sunset you see, the sweet smell of fresh cut grass, butterflies, good food, family, your pets that give you unconditional love, hugs, kisses, laughter, a cool breeze, and everything else that makes up life. Theres so much to see and do in the course of a person's life and most people dont even do a fraction of it.

Another Monday

Well shes still recooperating and the meds keep her pretty drousy but I got to talk to her a little. They are taking her off the morphine and I'm hoping that this will wake her up a little more. The doctors tell her that she has to start walking around but being so drowsy, dizzy and the nausia, causes her to literally not want to move, which I wouldnt want to either. Plus she's in pain which also contributes to her really staying still.

Well I wish there was more I had to write... but right now I'm sitting in class on a bit of a break. Well gotta go back.

The walk.

Well Cindy got off that bed today, took a bit of a walk around the hospital, was rather painful but she did it which shows she is trying. It was a quiet day, her throat bothers her from the tube that was in it from them knocking her out to do the procedure and she can't really speak much. That'll take time. She also still has a lot of fluid built up in her but its starting to come out and I think shes starting to feel better in that sense too. She didn't walk as much as they would have liked her to but it will come in time.

They had to stop the radiation for a while to allow her body to heal from this surgery but she is still taking the Iressa which they havent stopped. She isn't getting any of the side effects that would make her have to go off of it (thank God) so she is safe to take it. Right now I think she is better off where she is then anywhere in the world. I was at that hospital yesterday and they dont have regular hospital rules. They don't really enforce visiting hours... They are VERY friendly and warm and they take the time to really talk to you. Also they show a lot of compassion. I was glad for that. I left three balloons with a little stuffed animal weighing them down and a card there last night. I knew she wouldnt remember I was there... so this would show I was. She liked seeing that this morning. It was cheery.

If anyone wants to get in touch with me aside from here... if you look up my profile from the main page, you'll find my AIM screen name. Feel free to just IM me and let me know who you are. Thanks again for all the prayers guys, means the world to me. I just hope someone up there is listening... I've truly never been so scared. I could never think I'd not have a sister... and I dont know what I'd do if I thought she wouldn't be in my life. We dont really get along all that well... but she was always the smarter of us and the one to take care of things. Now I'm doing a lot of it and it really shows me what I took for granted.

Breathing...

Ok, surgery is OVER. She did very well and they removed 300-400 cc's of fluid from around her heart, which is the equivalent to 2 full soda cans. Its a lot but now she will start to feel a heck of a lot better. I drove up there tonight and sat with her for a short while, she drifted in and out and they still had her on assisted breathing but I'm sure that she'll sleep the rest of it off and feel right as rain in a day or two. They said that she would really feel a huge difference in a day or two.

I want to also thank everyone for all their prayers. The people from Cindy's work, my family, my friends, her friends.... you guys all mean the world to me right now. Thank you again and again. For now everyone is resting for the night and I'll post on Sunday after I return from seeing her again.

G'night world.

A hearts prayer....

Cindy is not returning home today, plans have changed again. Seems there is fluid around her heart that is causing trouble. Tomorrow morning she will be undergoing surgery to release the fluid. Please let this go okay and let her rest comfortably. I wish I had more to report... I don't know enough yet. I'll try to report more later. And I'll let you all know how she did afterwards.

It's 4pm and they still havent taken her yet for the surgery. I'm sorry that everyone is waiting for news... I wish I had some. They are giving her a break from radiation until her body rejuvinates a bit and she heals a little from the procedure. I'm going to trek up to the hospital myself after class and the nurses who are VERY nice told me they will turn a blind eye to me being there past visiting hours. Right now I'm sitting in java class hoping he lets us out early... so i can be with my family. I think right now I need them more then they need me there.

Iressa!

Well something new, so here's the new journal entry! They have been giving Cindy radiation and now as of last night started her on a medication called "Iressa", which if anyone would like to look up, can be found at http://www.iressa.com/

This is a medication that works like chemotherapy but without some of the harsh side effects. Since radiation and chemo cannot be given at the same time, this medication will take the place of chemo until she CAN get it, unless it works well, then she might not need chemo at all, which would be wonderful!

Cindy is very tired and been sleeping alot but it helps the body to heal, plus she needs as little stress as possible. So I'm glad that she is there, where its quiet. I'm told that Sloan Kettering Hospital's staff is not only VERY knowledgeable but they are very warm people. So it makes it easier on not only the patients, but the visiting family as well. The people she works with are amazing. They have been keeping in touch with Cindy as well as me and I never met a more caring bunch. I'm glad that Cindy was part of that group and I hope she will be returning to them soon. I think Brian (her boss) misses his traveling buddy! ppssssst.... Brian... I miss her nagging at me too! ;)

Well today I am driving my mom around while she takes care of a few things, so it should be a rather quiet day. Looks soggy and rainy out again but I think I'll take mom out for lunch and maybe we'll just try to have a nice relaxing day. I think she needs it. I know I did yesterday. Thank God for red wine. lol!

Little extra peice of news I just had to throw in here, we found out this morning that Cindy will be coming home tomorrow. So she will get to spend some time relaxing at home this weekend with us and her daughter. Hope the phones keep quiet!

Talk to you all later!
Sherry

Late Introduction

Ok, so here is me. Some people reading this never did get to meet me or see what I look like. So since you are all following along, I thought I best throw a picture of myself up there as well. I have NO idea whats with the guy sitting next to me, he was definitely a strange character. My friend is taking the picture of me and it was July 4th. We were waiting for the NYC Macy's Fireworks display and just relaxing. Was a great day. Anyway, theres my very late introduction. And enjoy the pics!

Lotta Laughs...

Well today I spent most of my day with Melissa my neice. She truly is a joy to be around. She is such a well behaved little girl that I didn't want to give her back!! I took her to the mall, did a little clothes shopping, then we had lunch with Chris with us. She napped while Chris and I had a little ice cream and then we went to Chris's house so Melissa could see Chris's mom who wanted to see her. Afterwards, I took her to my friend Meredith who was nice enough to watch her for a few hours while I worked. From what I was told she was very well behaved there too. But even though I'm truly exhausted now from chasing after her all day and making her smile... it was worth every second of it. I wouldn't trade a moment of today for anything. She just gave me a huge hug and now Andrew (my brother in law) is trying to get her to go to sleep for the night.

Cindy is still in the hospital. She had a fever on and off and they put her on an antibiotic so she has to stay there for a little longer. She also got pain meds so shes very tired.... I hope she sleeps well and feels better tomorrow.

Setback...

Well Cindy was supposed to return home today from Sloan Kettering hospital but that didn't happen. She has a low grade fever, probably from the first dose of radiation but to be on the safe side they are keeping her. She had a nice shower and they took the IV out of her arm so this way she can be a little more comfortable. She sounded very tired and I do hope that she is able to get some rest.

Not much else to report at the moment so I'll just end it on this.... what doesnt kill you makes you stronger... my family, all of it, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, my friends, her friends.... all are family to me. And I'm thankful for them, they keep me and my immediate family strong... so thank you, all of you.

Friday... the 13th.

Well today it starts. Cindy will have her first treatment of radiation which will be a two week treatment. She will get radiation every day for the next two weeks. She can do this as an "out" patient. She will be staying tonight though for observation but after that she can come back here and just go to the city during the day to get her treatment and come home. The reason they are doing this first is because there is a section in her lower spine that needs immediate attention. They also changed her inhaler medications in hopes of controlling her coughing and to sooth her some.

Melissa has a cold so that really restricts where she can go and see. I'm hoping not to catch it myself but seems Melissa has taken a HUGE attachment to me and hugs me constantly and always puts her hands on me. She walks up behind me and hugs my legs, pulls at my clothes and laughs. She really is such a little doll!!! I feel like I have a responsibility to her right now more then anyone else. My parents need to concentrate on Cindy and even though my concerns, prayers and thoughts are with Cindy, Melissa seems to need me around. So "around" I'll be.

I got in touch with a few people from Cindy's office today and gave them the website here... as well as some of the campground members my parents associate with. So I'd like to say hello to everyone who is just reading all of this for the first time. Theres a lot to catch up on, but I'm sure you guys will. My sister's best friend Bonnie is printing out all the pages to make a scrapbook for when all of this is over. Its strange to know that whatever I type will wind up in her book. Hi Bonnie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll post more as I get it. She's feeling a bit better today from getting liquids and meds to help clean out her system. I hope that she does ok with this...

End of the night.

Hows THIS for comfy? Sometimes I want to trade places with my cat. Ashley has SUCH a good life! Cindy is resting comfortably in Sloan Kettering tonight while they rehydrate her and make sure to help her get over some nausia she has been having. Melissa and Andrew and I went out for a bite to eat and then I gave the baby a nice bath and she should be asleep by now.

Well aside from that, everything is quiet. There isn't much to really report as of yet but as usual, I'll keep everyone informed. Please feel free to post comments so I KNOW you guys are out there reading! Thanks!

G'night,
Sherry

On the Road Again....

Well Cindy and my parents are on their way back to the hospital in the city. She has an appointment today to discuss treatments, when they will start, what they are going to do and also to tell her the results of the MRI she had done last night. She also was dehydrated so she had some IV also last night to help hydrate her a bit. She was feeling a bit better this morning and was so happy to see Melissa last night. My dog, as I said hasn't left Cindy's side and here she is with her. Thanks to Chris I now know how to put pictures into my posts so I'm making sure to do so when I can. If anyone wants to save them, right click on them, and hit Save picture. Enjoy!!

Well newest news...they are admitting her. She's dehydrated and they want to get to the bottom of her bouts of nausia. So I'll be taking Andrew and Melissa after I have class to dinner and then spend my night with the baby. Maybe I'll tell Andrew to take a night to himself... maybe his brother can pick him up for a while. He just can't take my car in case I need it. I hate feeling stranded. Anyway, there are no MRI results as of yet....but I'm hoping that they will make her more comfortable. She's really been having a rough week.

The cutie!

My Neice Melissa! Well here she is! :) She is the happiest little bundle in the world! She was freely giving hugs and laughing and kisses... and she even hugged the dog calling her "mine". hahah! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the picture and I hope to see some of you soon!

Sherry

Posted by Hello

Melissa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well in a few hours my neice Melissa will be here with my brother in law Andrew for a few days. It'll be so nice to see her since I haven't in a very long time. I think my sister is REALLY looking forward to it but the meds she is on makes her really tired and she sleeps a LOT.

We found out she has "small cell lung cancer". I'm not sure if that is good or bad. I know certain types of cancer are worse then others but in this case I'm not sure. I'll have to do a little research for this one.

Well my parents took Cindy to Sloan tonight for her MRI and she's been very nausious lately as well. So Sloan Kettering will address her nausia first and she's going through the emergency room so it can be taken care of fast. I'm not sure if she'll be staying there overnight or what. She's been coughing a whole bunch lately and her right side ribs have been hurting very badly. So I hope that they check that out as well and maybe give her somthing to help her not cough as much as she has been. The treatments that she is supposed to do dont seem to do enough for her. I just hope that maybe this trip will help.

Andrew and Melissa should be here VERY soon.....

And a quiet weekend approaches!

TGIF!!!! Starting out already to be a nice quiet morning... but it's going to be a quiet weekend. My brother in law left already to head back to Florida, Cindy is sleeping in a bit, its nice and quiet. My cat is curled up next to me as I sit here with my laptop on my lap updating the laptop for all you fans out there!

My parents and Cindy are going upstate this weekend. No major phones ringing, no noise, and plus there will be a block party here on MY block this weekend, way too much noise around here so it'll be quiet there. It's about a 2 and 1/2 hour drive but she'll be ok for it. She actually requested to go. I'm hoping this will do her some good. She'll be able to just sit, relax and enjoy some peace and quiet. I'm sure that my parent's friends upstate will be coming around asking if she needs anything, you know, the "hitting her over the head with a Hallmark card" scenario. But Cindy seems to take all of this so well it makes me proud she's MY sister. It's amazing what an impact she's had on everyone and she doesnt even realize it. Someday I'll have to tell her what I think of her in my head.

Since her move to Florida a few years ago, we speak on AOL Instant Messenger a LOT. In that time we've become somewhat friends and I've gotten to learn things about her I never thought she would share with me. Also she talks to me more like a friend rather than the bratty sister I always was to her. I tucked her into bed the other night and kissed her hand. She smiled slightly and I whispered that I loved her. It made me feel good that I did it.

So, she'll have a relaxing weekend and maybe my parents will do. I HOPE that they do. They need it more then anyone really. My father has been working and my mother cannot for her life SIT STILL! If I could duct tape her to the floor I would at this point to make her see she has got to slow down and pace herself just a bit.

Well as for me, I'll be in Florida all weekend at a friend's house. I'm going to plop onto a lounge chair, with my new book "Digital Fortress" by Dan Brown and my walkman with some classical music. In the sun I'll be. Next week the "fun" begins. If I'm right Cindy will start treatments next week. I better get her lemon drops,they help a LOT for nausea during those treatments, I know too many people who had chemo, its sad but helpful.

Have a good weekend everyone... I know me and my family will.

PS: My sister had the mamography and that came back absolultely normal. And her breathing is starting to feel better too. So she's a bit stronger. She is going back Wednesday night to Sloan for an MRI or Cat Scan, I cant remember which one. But soon they will be telling us the right course of action to attack with. She's in great spirits and I'm glad that we have been treating each other as friends. She's sleeping now... I do hope the phone stops ringing a little. It's like grand central station here!!

Ssshhhhh.....

So... whats the odds that today will be a quiet day? My sister had a mamography this morning and now my mother, Cindy and my brother in law are having breakfast at a local diner. I'm sure afterwards they'll be back here and hopefully have a quiet day. Let's just say yesterday was anything BUT quiet or happy around here.

So its just 11am and so far its been decently quiet on both ends. I woke up to a quiet house and a cat pawing my face. So... lets all pray for a nice quiet day.

Keeping fingers crossed...

Well they are off... on their way to the first meeting with the Sloan Kettering doctor. Her appointment is for 2:30pm, so it'll be a while before I hear anything but I'm sure I'll be posting later on tonight what is going on. Please be patient with me, and I'll add onto here as soon as I can. I know a lot of you are counting on this little website for updates, and get some of my useless babble too but at least you guys are all knowing whats going on. And my poor parents don't have to keep repeating it over and over, as well as me. Until later.....

==============================================================
Ok, the oncologist and the pathologist are going to start looking over her files and find the best course of action. She has to return for either an X-ray or MRI, I cant remember which one but thats next week and she was given a HUGE amount of pain killers so she doesnt have to worry about running out. She had a long day and came home and literally just passed out. So did my father. So I was glad that the phone didn't really ring much. She'll be starting treatment as soon as they have looked over everything and talk to her about the best course of action to start with. They also gave her different meds for her nebulizer to help her breathing a bit. The meds that were given to her in Florida were useless and didn't help her at all. So we're hoping these do. All in all it was really just a "first meeting" to get to know Cindy's case, get the rest of the files and slides that Cindy had with her and to start really digging into the case. There wasn't as much to tell as I thought there would be, or I hoped would be but the Doctor there I'm told was very nice and I think my family felt confident with him.

G'night all.

Hot water...

It's amazing how you take things like hot water for granted... till you are slightly rushed, trying to jump into the shower cause you have to get yourself to class and there isn't any! I truly don't like hot water heaters.... grumble...

Well Cindy got out of the house a little today which is good. She can't stay cooped up in the house sitting on the couch. She's gotta move around some and get her legs stronger again. So my mother dropped her off at a place to get her nails done and also a pedicure. I believe one of her closest friends was meeting her there and will be taking her home again. Unfortunately my mother is home calling the hot water heater guys to come and find the problem so when I return later I can take a nice hot shower. I'll probably run to the gym first since I already feel "icky".

For the first time in weeks my mother had nothing really to do and I thought it was a good thing. I told her to take a load off, go watch some tv, relax, maybe do a little reading but she looked so anxious and I doubt she'll sit still for long. I hope she does though. I'm worried about her. I feel that she has way too much going on, she's been on overload for too long and needs to unwind a whole bunch. I gave her the name and number of my therapist and I hope she calls him. I know she was sort of hinting towards it, so I made sure to grab one of his business cards and hand it over to her. She hid it away rather quick, like to keep it a secret that she's even getting it. There's no shame in seeing a therapist if you need one or feel like you need one, and theres absolutely NO shame in taking medications to calm you down if its necessary. I found that the two meds that I'm now on give me focus. I am doing better with reading, I retain what I read and I find that I'm not going into a test petrified to all hell. I hope my mother calls....

Well the basement is just about dried out. The washer and dryer are "A-okay" and so is the freezer down there. The water heater needed some repair and looks like we're not done with that struggle and I dont think the furniture is going to survive this disaster. It still smells down there too. It'll be a long time before my parents have their little sanctuary back. I know how much they love to go down there, unwind, doze off and relax to the tv. Ah... the tv is ok too. Thankfully.

Well its 2:46pm right now, I best get ready for my test in three minutes!!

The Weekend...

Well originally I was going to forfit going to Florida since my sister is here and there's no reason for me to leave here. But even my parents can see I need a little break. So I'm going to fly to Florida this weekend and spend it with two friends of mine, Craig and Julie. They said that I can just sit by their pool, read my book and relax. It's completely fine with them and honestly really fine with me. Classes are hard to pay attention to since all that is going on and even though I know my mother could really use me here, two days away wont really hurt anyone. I pulled both my parents aside together and asked them if it would be ok and they both said if you need to take two days away from here, then just do it. They both agreed that I could use it and since its my last semester of classes and my stress is through the roof, it's not such a bad idea.

So, this weekend should help me relax just a tad I hope. I just hope that nothing goes wrong while I'm gone. Everyone keep a prayer for us...

Here comes August!

Well August has finally started and its a rainy day and all is somewhat quiet. I got to sleep in a little this morning and I spent last night watching Shrek with my sister. We both fell asleep. I woke up around 2am and shuffled myself upstairs at her request to not have anyone sleep downstairs with her. So I left my phone with her as a security blanket on MY end and left. I thought just in case of a problem she can dial my mother's line upstairs. She's been having trouble breathing and the machine they gave her isn't working right, seems to be missing one of the drugs it needs to work the way it should for her. I felt so frustrated like I wanted to literally just give her one of my lungs so she could get a good deep breath. I still dont quite understand why this is all happening but at the same time I'm doing my best to be a good sister and friend to Cindy. Yesterday she and Chris had fun picking on me during dinner and I just let them pick away. I thought that honestly I would rather hear her laughing then not feeling well. She was a bit nausious this morning but I'm hoping that will pass quickly for her. She's still swollen inside from the biopsy surgery and its causing her aweful heartburn as well as nausia. I hope that heals up quickly too.

We got Chinese food last night which put Cindy in food heaven... it's her favorite especially from where we got it from. My mother and sister were attacking me with money and who was going to pay for it. In the end I took Cindy's money, I think she needs to feel like she contributes back and she should if she wants to. My mother can't always do everything.

I went to where I used to work and left about a year ago yesterday. It felt funny just walking through the front door. I didnt leave on horrible terms but I felt very uncomfortable until the greeting I got from my exboss. She had heard about Cindy through one of the girls working there that I did stay friends with. She was then asking how she was and what happened. I had told her I was sorry but I needed to ask her for a favor. With my basement pretty much destroyed, I had nowhere to bathe my cat. The dog isn't really a problem since she doesnt shed and if I blow dry her out nothing flies out of her. My cat on the other hand, the hair goes all over, which is why I bathe her in the slop sink, located in the basement. Now I cant. So I made arrangements with my exboss (Diane) that every three weeks I can bring Ashley (cat) into her place and give her a bath. She's not charging me since I'm doing it on my own and not using any of her stuff. I thought it was nice of her. I was pretty thankful for it.

Well I have some family coming over today, my cousins Cynthia and Tom and MAYBE my sister's friend Bonnie and her husband Jamie. Also one of my brother in law's relatives, completely forgot who he was, but a nice guy. Things here have been quiet, but after this coming Tuesday when Cindy goes to Sloan Kettering Hospital, the road just begins.

She had a very tiring day. A lot of company and awake all day. I would think by now shes passed out cold sleeping and I'm hoping sleeping very soundly. She deserved it and needed it tonight.

Have a good Sunday everyone.