Friday, December 31, 2004

A Year Ends...


A year ends... Posted by Hello
I just got off the phone with Sherry and we were talking about what a bad year it has been. She is unable to get to a computer right now to make a post so she asked me to put one up for her... and here it is.

No one knows why bad things happen to good people. It's one of the great mysteries in life. I guess ours is not to question. When my father got sick, we were looking for a miracle. When Cindy got sick, we were looking for a miracle. I said this at my father's service in front of all the people who came to pay last respects... and this goes for Cindy as well... we got the miracle. We had it from the day Cindy was born into this world. The miracle we got was not what we were looking for... It was that we were blessed to have Cindy in our lives to begin with. There is no greater gift in this world then to be touched by an angel.

2004 is a year that we will never forget. Sherry lost her sister and I lost my father... and everyone has been profoundly touched by the great sense of loss. Here is the thing that we all need to keep in mind... while we are no longer able to physically see them, they are always with us. Many people try to console our bleeding hearts by saying thing like "They live on in our hearts and memories". This is true but it is deeper than that, far deeper. They also live on in a very real sense. They are the chill you get out of nowhere. They are the smile that comes from nothing. They are the tapping sounds on the window and the ladybug on the sill. Cindy is giving you all of these signs to let you know she is still here. Let me tell you a little story:

Once in a Lily pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened that there friend was dead, gone forever.

Then one day the little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water on to the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed. And when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful purple-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying. So fly he did! And, as he soared, he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life than he had ever known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now that he was dead. He wanted to go back and tell them and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that there time would come, when they too would know what he now knew. So he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life.

You see Sherry, life does not end. It changes form. New Years eve is not leaving anyone behind. It's moving along as usual. Don't cry, sweet... Cindy will be ringing in the new year with you as my dad will be with us. Its going to be OK.

I hope you like what I wrote for you Sherry. I wish you were here with me... and remember... when you go to take a sip of champaign tonight, the bubbles in the glass that tickle your nose? Thats Cindy kissing you.

Happy and safe New Year, everyone.

Sunday, December 26, 2004


The happy little Melissa when she saw me get into the car... I cant believe that my little cell phone takes a decent picture!! But she can say my name now and she can pronounce words better. Shes really learning fast. Posted by Hello

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas Day

Well I learned something today... That I guess I always knew, but I guess I needed to be reminded. I forgot just how much I love my parents and how much they mean to me. Its Christmas Day, and I do hope that everyone who reads this enjoyed their day ... I know that it was rather a quiet day spent with friends in Florida. I was kinda glad that I was with friends.

I spoke with my parents today and my mom and dad seem to be having a good day, which I'm glad for. I managed through today without falling apart too much. I did cry a little when I spoke to my mother, only cause I just didnt realize how much I need them right now. I can't wait to see them in a few days. I'm really looking forward to it.

Well Good night to all... and to all... a happy new year too.

~Sherry

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Florida again...

Well its December 22nd, and I flew this morning to Florida. Having Andrew and Melissa pick me up at the airport and loaning me a car was a huge help. Melissa was so happy to see me that she couldnt stop giggling and snuggling with me. It was so sweet. Then she fell asleep on my shoulder for 40 minutes. I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

I took a picture of her with my new cell phone but not sure how to get it off the phone yet. I'll eventualy get it off and get it on here for everyone to see. She can ALMOST say my name which amused the heck outta me. Then I drove south to my friend's house. They are so great to put me up here for the time I'll be here.

It's a little bit of a harsh slap of reality... Walking through the West Palm Beach airport terminal and not having Cindy there to greet me... then driving through Florida I fought back tears the entire trip to my friend's house. I saw the apartment that Cindy and Andrew were living in and I walked around it touching everything in site... just because at some point, I know Cindy touched it. And I just want so much to be close to here. To have her hear me... and feel how lost I feel without her most of the time.

Well if anyone wants to get a hold of me, you all know how... talk to you all soon my friends, family and everyone else. Thank you for still showing the support for me and my family.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Just like a prayer...


And Cindy around 18 years old. Posted by Hello

In 2000, In Better times


More Recent Posted by Hello

Remembrance (around 16 years old)


October 10, 1968-November 13, 2004, May Cindy always be in our hearts and she will be with us. I'll keep everyone updated on the trust fund for Melissa and I'll also be posting Cindy pictures for anyone who would like to have some as well Posted by Hello